and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
