i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
