dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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