what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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