you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
