Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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