the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
