he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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