He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
