i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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