She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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