It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
