strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
