her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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