her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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