You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
