we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
