I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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