I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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