after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
