i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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