I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
