I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
