I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
