I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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