Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
