Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
