; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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