Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Enjoy the penises
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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