i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
