You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
