i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
