Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
