i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
tell me about the fingering
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