She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
