so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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