Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
