I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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