everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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