You're completely useless in the revolution.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
