Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
