need another drink. this is the easiest way
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
