at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
