I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
