You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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