why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
