imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
