"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
