I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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