your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
