so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
